Robot Underwear

Ok, so I haven’t posted in a while, but I’d like to point out that in the interim between my last posts and this one, I’ve had a total of 14 visitors based on searches for things like “weed underwear” and “naked ladies driving”.

"Weed" (aka marijuana)

I actually did some research (i.e. googling) on weed underwear just because. It turns out that I am not in the top 10 or even 30 of weed underwear search results, but Robot Underwear is nevertheless in some pretty awesome company. For example, there’s the Bolivian blog called Veneno Lundico which features a song called “The Woman in Weed Underwear can Carry me to Heaven.” Or there’s the puzzling site called Share the Talking Stick which advises women to discontinue use of dryer sheets as underwear. (P.S. Robot Underwear also recommends that you discontinue use of dryer sheets as underwear.) One commenter, Jodie, adds, “I agree that dryer sheets are just plain nasty. I haven’t used them since I first moved out of the house!” Good for you Jodie!

Sneaker - possibly to be used to house penis as neccessary. (Penis not pictured)

Further research, however, indicates that the searchers were probably just looking for the lyrics to the popular artiste J-Kwon’s song entitled “Underwear”. The song is really a masterpiece:

Got pussy everywhere
Weed in the air
I’m in my underwear
My under the underwear
Liquor everywhere
Condoms over there
I’m in my underwear

I am unsure as to what “my under the underwear” means, but he’s got pussy everywhere and I simply haven’t any, so who am I to argue? The song also goes on to discuss the pleasures of golden showers (“In the gold shower I’m handin’ out gold showers.”) and how his J-Kwon’s penis requires a sneaker (“Right now my third leg need a sneaker on.”)

I sure hope he gets that sneaker!

Right from getting off the plane, San Francisco was pretty awesome. I was upgraded to a Mustang at the car rental place. I didn’t know what that was, as I do not care about cars, but it’s pretty cool if not somewhat ridiculous since I am only driving for about an hour in it in total. I am going to get some naked ladies to lay on it and take pictures, if I have time.

This woman came with the car.

The unfortunate reality of time on business trips dawned on me pretty quickly once I got into SF. I had about 30 minutes to walk around before I had to go directly into focus groups. In the 30 minutes however, I saw streetcars and walked next to someone smoking up on the street, so I think I got the full SF experience.

I didn't actually see Arnold, unfortunately.

The groups themselves were pretty surreal. Focus groups are weird anyway, watching a bunch of people behind glass, but these were especially weird because they were conducted in languages I don’t speak. A woman of generous girth sat in the room with us and translated everything for us in real time. She tried to do different intonnations for different people, but either way it’s super weird to have someone saying in mostly a monotone, “What do you think about that? I like it, the colors work well. Which colors do you like best? I like purple, it reminds me of home.” for four hours straight. Also, the food at the focus groups was a great disappointment. It was thai, which is a plus, but there was only one bowl of M&Ms and few other snacks were provided. This merits a grade C on food.

This was how I was feeling about the lack of snacks, namely cookies.

Today I am off to San Jose for more groups. NYC conference calls have kept me locked up in the minature hotel room (seriously, it’s smaller than my bedroom in NYC and that’s really saying something) on the phone, so I didn’t get to see anymore of San Francisco today. The view of the building outside of my hotel room window, however, looks pretty sweet.